I've got soul, but I'm not a soldier.

Part I
Fight or Flight
Special shoutout to my dermatologist who made me wait in her office for an hour and a half and then FINALLY came in and I shit you not, said, "I'm so glad you've finally decided to ignore society's standards of beauty and give up on being tan."

Wow.

My 8:00 a.m. appointment has nothing to do with this entry except that I wrote it out longhand in the waiting room.

This entry is about my anxiety about going to North Carolina with Mash for the ball. Yes. Very much anxiety, what with the not knowing this person and the not wanting to be left ALONE with him while Mash and her future husband run off to get away from us.

I have come up with a list of things that could possibly get me out of this, if anyone has any to add please let me know.

1. Fake appendicitis

2. "Lose" tickets, dress, wallet, car, toothbrush, cell phone and anything else crucial for trip.

3. Pretend to break leg.

4. Actually break leg. Options include: throwing self downstairs, jumping off roof, slamming leg in door. Extra points if it can be pulled off without scarring and if self is wasted enough while attempting "operation get a cast" to feel no pain.

5. Cry. Cry really hard. Cry to Mash. Mash will not care that self is crying, but she will go to the store and get more wine.

That's all I've come up with so far. I realize it is somewhat lacking in creativity but it is eight thirty in the f-ing morning and I had to get up at six just to get here in time to wait. I don't get creative until noonish. Also, I'm out of coffee.

Currently reading: The Penelopiad, it's by Margaret Atwood and it's basically a shortened version of Homer's Odyssey from Penelope's perspective. She breaks up Penelope's narratives with a chorus of the maids murdered upon Odysseus' return and they are my favorite part. Best lines of the book so far:

Oh gods and oh prophets, please alter my life,
And let a young hero take me for his wife!
But no hero comes to me, early or late-
Hard work is my destiny death is my fate!

Then sail, my fine lady, on the billowing wave-
The water below is as dark as the grave,
And maybe you'll sink in your little blue boat-
It's hope, and hope only, that keeps us afloat.

I guess that's all I have for today! Part II's on it's way though.
Oh, and if I do manage to break my leg I'll need input on what color cast I should pick!