Holiday Update

Ah, Christmas.

The needles on my tree have fallen to the ground and I am left with a large branch loaded down with every ornament ever made in the history of the world, period. I have exactly one gift under said tree. Considering that today is December 18th, the number of gifts under my tree should be around "eleventy billion". I haven't gotten anyone anything. This means that I will be at the mall tomorrow morning at nine a.m. and will probably leave sometime around "never".

I guess I should probably tell you about the dinner party that wasn't. I am just still so upset that it's hard for me to discuss it without dissolving into tears and screaming "I just want to know WHYYYYYYY!!!!!!" I'll give you the short hand version. My oven caught on fire. By the time we got to the fire extinguisher the turkey had been engulfed. This lead to an emergency trip to the grocery store where steaks were purchased, taken home, seriously undercooked and thrown in the garbage. Oh, and out of the eleven people that had sworn to me on THEIR PETS LIVES that they would be there. at five. thank you. amen..... exactly four showed. I was fucking pissed. It was terrible, I got drunk and spend roughly four hours crying in the bathroom.

Moving right along, it is hot here,....not very Christmasy feeling.

The good news is that there is plenty of wine in the fridge.