Merry Christmas, Damnit

Merry Christmas, lovelies! I love this time of year. It is my favorite. It reminds me of being a wee tiny person whose only worries included "cookies, chocolate" and "doll, Barbie" which are very nice thoughts as opposed to "bills, electric" and "problems, car"....none of that is the point of this post though. The point of this post is to talk about snow, or the lack thereof.

The last time I was able to frolic in real snow was five years ago. My church was going on a ski trip. My two best friends and I decided that we would ONLY go if we could stay in the same room. Let me explain, we were brats. Period. We approached our youth minister with this theory. Being the youth minister, he wasn't able to tell us the truth (that we were behaving like a bunch of little bitches on par with Shannon Dougherty) and instead smiled and told us that he'd do the best he could, this was code for "ok you little twits, wanna play like that?". Macey, Marcy and I rode the bus UP the mountains and to North Carolina to a creepy, dank, old hotel that was massive, Victorian and haunted to Hell and back. The entire church was staying on one side of the hotel and we were placed on the haunted, creepy, dark, deserted ELEVENTY SEVEN BATRILLION DEGREES other side. Also, an extra added bonus: the Exorcist. THE EXORCIST. The mother freakin' Exorcist was the only thing on T.V.... I bout died.

So, we stayed up staring at the screen in abject horror while the poor little girl vomited split pea soup all over the world and we were so hot that I hallucinated and became convinced that I had been swallowed into the caverns of Hell. Finally around four in the morning, Marcy and Macey decided it would be a good idea to OPEN THE WINDOW and allow the three degree wind to blow through the room. It was so blazing hot in that room that the window being open didn't start to help for an hour or so and we finally crashed around six. Unfortunately, six was the time that we were supposed to meet our church at the bus to trolly us to the slopes. It took forty five minutes of our youth director banging on the door to wake us up and another hour for us to blitz around layering ski clothes on top of ski clothes to stay warm. When we finally got to the bus people were making rude comments like "spoiled ***ches" and they weren't even trying to conceal them in whispers. How did I get on this subject? Do you know? I don't. ANYWAY! My point is: I like snow. I miss snow. I want to marry snow and live together in an ice castle. It's finals week people, I'm sorry.

In other news: my finger hurts. Also, I'm having a lovely festive Christmas dinner on Thursday and I will be preparing it BY MYSELF like a big person. This could go a few ways...

1. Fantastically, i.e. everyone eats drinks and is merry and we avoid things that are not good like food poisioning, beating Maceys boyfriend (who no one likes) in the face with a shovel, etc..(shut your mouth,.....it could happen)

2. Dreadfully, i.e. everyone drinks and is merry but the food sucks.

3. Catastrophically, i.e. everyone eats the food, contracts life threatening food borne illness and spends the holidays in an oxygen tent.

Say a little prayer for me....