Stick A Fork in Her....

Class starts back on Monday.

Yucka fucka.

It isn't that I don't like learning, it isn't even that I passionately abhor the FORTY FIVE MINUTE commute EVERY DAY. Mainly, it's that I'm going to have to get off of my ass and Do Things. My holiday was really lovely. No one was forked to death.

I guess I should probably explain that. When I was thirteen years old my family decided it would be a fabulous idea to collectively embark on a ski vacation to Colorado. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, siblings....everyone. We all stayed in one super lovely and pretty and fabulous house. Then one night before dinner, my mother and my aunt got into a heated discussion over what to season the turkey with and it lead to MY AUNT PULLING A FORK OUT AND THREATENING TO STAB MY MOTHER. People, this was not acceptable. My grandmothers brain exploded by the intense UN-Southerness of her daughters behavior and my cousins and I promptly collapsed on the floor laughing hysterically at our mamma's acting like heathens. Anyway, we've always gauged the level of family tension by this handy dandy chart:

1. 'bout to get a fork: someone has been wronged to the point of inconvenience and/or mild discomfort. Retaliatory measures include: ignoring requests to pass something (i.e. question: Aunt Bessie, will you please pass the grits? answer: Why Michael, what a lovely tie you're wearing. Did you hear something just now? Because I DID NOT.), a snide remark being made to the entire family regarding perpetrating family member, or "accidentally" tipping the gravy boat into the lap of the wrong doer.

2.....now that I think about it, there's only the one. Either you're about to get forked or you're getting forked. The latter has not happened to date. The former is a relatively daily occurrence.

How did I get off on all of that? Anyway, so yes it has been a really good holiday. I was in Charleston, South Carolina for the New Year and it was so much fun. Charleston is a really beautiful place. Y'all should go.PLUS it was like seventy five degrees the whole trip!

Because I have been in Charleston for the New Year and at my parents house for Christmas, my poor little house is rather in need of a good scrub down. That will commence in about four seconds. So, if you need me I will be up to my eyeballs in cleaning supplies. Whoo hoo.