Part II:Flight
Friday Morning:
So, I had totally forgotten how much I hate to fly. The Turbulence, the sardine-like atmosphere and the complete lack of vodka on this seven-thirty a.m. flight has put me in a mood. Also, I'm hungover and concerned about the contents of my suitcase. Last night, I decided to wait until AFTER I consumed the super large bottle of chardonnay to pack. I have no earthly idea what I put in but I have a bad feeling that its contents are little more than a dirty sock and some lip gloss.
Speaking of lip gloss, they are NOT kidding about that shit. Mash and I didn't realize that unless you have your ONE TUBE of lip gloss in a plastic bag, you cannot get through security. Like zip-lock forms some kind of protective barrier between sparkling goo and the traveling public. OH GOD, THAT WOMAN HAS A TUBE OF BONNEBELLE. HIT THE FLOOR.
Friday Night:
Aw, HELL naw.
Our flight has been delayed for seven hours because of inclement weather. We are finally on the plane. The plane had been overloaded by fifteen thousand pounds. The flight attendant has spent the last two hours begging for volunteers to take another flight. I am going to miss the ball. I am stuck on a plane. I have no alcohol. I have no paper. I am writing this on the back of A VOMIT BAG.
Wait a minute.
Yay! The Tulane track and field team has decided to drive! We're taking off! If the stupid nitwit had agreed to bump them to first class in the first place we would not be in this situation.
Stupid nitwit has since made up for stupidity and nitwittieness by announcing:
" I am tired. I am not doing the safety briefing. In the event of an emergency, well...you're screwed. Now raise your hand if you want a beer."
My empty suitcase and puke-sack journaling are no longer bothering me.
I have free airplane beer.
*More will come later, right now I'm exhausted.
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2 comments:
I no longer care + I have alcohol = outstanding
that's math for everyday life.
Well lizbet... if it makes you feel any better i am awake studying for an anthropology test. like this has anything to do with my major. i have not even been advised yet and registration starts tomorrow. fabulous. i sent you a message earlier. my love life has gone to the shitter again. fabulous. the ball sounds like it was terrible. fill me in later. your blog is the only bright light in my life right now. okay....adderall and red bull kicking in. back to homo habilis and mesoamerica. sounds fun right?
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